skinny girl takes photo in underwear = slut
fat girl takes photo in underwear = inspiration to women
About 12/14 songs nearly done through their first stages of drafts. This is a bit of lengthly process, but after a year in production, there isn’t really much I can complain about. All I can say is that this is probably the most depressing time in my life. Basically at a point where I can no longer get mad or frustrated at anything anymore. Still, I am managing to get a lot done for the past few months and that depression does help me be more genuine when I’m reevaluating my works. The process of making an album is a lot more complicated than it looks and as controversial of an opinion this is, those internet musicians who release an album every month on bandcamp have no idea what they are doing. Its true that a lot of us do intend to make money selling our albums or at least advertise. Sadly their thought process is very short term because a majority of them still live with their parents or in a school dorm. I’ll save this tangent for another day. As we all know, the industry is looking very grim on the outside for a lot of potential rockers because of oversaturation and a rise in apathy for the main consumers because of the internet. When approaching this album, I basically had to carry a dark cloud of pessimism over my head while composing illuminating symphonies of alternative metal that would somehow appeal to this new generation of adhd. I basically create consistent concepts, art, lyrics and a lot of other all by myself. Luckily, I managed to make some connections for advice, production techniques and even extra help in filming and editing music videos. In the end, however, talk is talk, people want to see the product. Let me disappoint you by telling you to wait longer. The whole album may be mapped out, but it is still only 15% finished.
Damn phone won’t let me orient the picture when uploading on tumblr. I decided to get on the next level of cheap by designing my own shirts. The process was as diy as it gets.
My new lifestyle.
Early this June, I’m going to be living here. The story is, I’m basically moving out because as much as I love my parents, I can’t agree with the future they want me to have, as generous as it may be. I’m a very lucky person when it comes to opportunities, with scholarships, going to a prestigious school, a paid internship for the federal government, and a very connected father. I somehow manage to screw it all up, but for some reason I got lucky again because an old friend of mine decided to hook me up with a place to crash while he goes off to Bangladesh.
Basically, he has tenants, but he left me a messy room and some chores to take over. Because I am an organized/uptight neat-freak I was the perfect guy. This somewhere in the middle of long island, far away from the city and my parents. The plan is to basically get my shit together and start moving forward with my new life. I’m 21 years old, and I have to man up by starting again. This place is pretty messy, but I used to do things like this with my dad, so hopefully I can fix up the place, make a garden, fix the garage for band practice and perhaps finish that musical album I kept putting off because of all the shit I had to put up with.
There’s a 90% chance things won’t go as planned, but that’s the nature of my passions. As long as I know what I’m doing, none of it matters anymore.
This is what I do on my free time. As mentioned a few times, my dad owns a branch of daycares and I often help out. I mostly do computer stuff, but occassionally I fool around with the kids. See, I have a heart.
Sister’s birthday. Figure I’d indoctrinate her. She will be the envy of all 14 year old girls for having such an awesome older brother.
Sure it was last minute, but nobody can top this combination.
I remember back in high school a friend was doing insanity and said I needed a six-pack. Because this was a little after health class and we also had weight training, I guess my weight and appearance was something I was conscious about. I kinda did it, but then stopped caring again as I had other stuff to worry about. Two, no, three years later, I decided to try something else. Something that a lot of girls are doing; starving.
Why? Just because, really. Also, considering that I’m planning to move out anyway, I might as well get used to eating significantly less. So I started skipping dinner. Instead, I go out and run for a half hour, then lounge around a bit, then sleep. That’s really it. My abs are becoming predominant now, and my ribcages are showing a lot more. It’s not really a skinny look I’m getting, more of a semi-muscular look since my body type sorta that way. Can’t say much about my lower body, I guess that part needs more intense cardio exercise which I’m not sure I’ll be doing. Eventually, I’ll start weightlifting again for a better look, but I really care about tone.
Okay, I lied, imagery is everything, no matter what anyone says. Sure there are people that don’t care, but those people aren’t your potential employers, landlords or bandmates. Like it or not, looks get you things. I don’t like that concept, but throwing a hissy fit and ignoring it won’t help an an aspiring musician. I’m fine as is, but instead of blending in with the musicians, I need to stand out. For my situation, I can manage it, so I’ll shrug it off and live with it.
Aside from PMS, I guess the reason why a lot of girls are always full of angst is because they are starving themselves. I can’t say I get that, as I’m not a girl, but I can see that starving can be hard. After a week or so, you get used to it. And then you learn a life lesson about lying to yourself to keep others happy so you can sustain your materialistic living.
As painful as it sounds, I’m not gonna object to this life choice. It works for some, and doesn’t for others. Too many people have high expectations and little patience when it comes to this kind of stuff. And in all honesty, I am one of those guilty parties that likes skinny bitches, just as there are girls that like guys with sixpacks. Blame anime. It’s not shallow, really, we all have preferences and sexual attraction is very important in a relationship, as much as the teen dramas lie to us with their good-looking actors.
My only suggestion is that it is best to eat more should you collapse or feel really dizzy. Or hey, get spiritual and pretend you’re fasting. So yeah, don’t quit. Keep starving, you masochistic freak.